Like An Albino Alligator...

...or



I'm fucking pale!! I don't think I've ever been this light-skinded ever in my life. It's so bad that my boobs are the same color as my face. Worse yet, no one can "gimme five on the black hand side," because they wouldn't be able to tell which side it is!!

Where's my summer sun, dammit?? I need my Brazilian glow back! Not this "gecko-esque" look that me (and my homegirl) are currently sportin'...