There's No Place Like Home...There's No Place Like Home...

Okay so I'll throw my two yen into this on-going debate, because it's super imperative. It's been known to tear apart friendships, cause sleepless nights, and divide a nation of people. No, I'm not talking about Obama vs. Clinton. Uh-uh, that's an important topic for real journalists and serious bloggers to tackle on another day. Today, it's another unspeakable "war", one in which eventually you have to take sides:



vs.



Oh, yes my friends....right now your minds are already turning...you're already drawing your lines in the sand, daring your friends with sideways glances to toe the other side...are you with me, or are you against me.....or are you just one of those losers who proclaim ignorance of either, so you remain like Switzerland planted firmly in the middle surfing wikipedia or watching videos on youtube?

First off know that I'm a member of both of these websites, but my loyalty lies firmly with one of them. I don't know if that is an indication that I typify the stereotype that goes along with identifying with that site. But know that there are stereotypes on both sides. Very Republican/Democratic-esque.

Fuck it...I'll come out and say it because you'll see my bias in a minute anyhow, so ain't no use denying my red-headed cousin with the lazy eye. I'm a MYSPACER....4 LYFE!!

Fact of the matter is, I really can't stand facebook sometimes. And it all stems from their uppity, 'wannabe' exclusivity. Yeah, once upon a time, even before I discovered myspace, I was a facebook reject. I found out about the shit all hella late (like the last scragglers at a frat party, tryna get in before all the hunch punch runs out). And just like anytime they're giving away free alcohol, I wanted ins! Unfortunately, I was about seven months removed from serving time at FSU, and since student emails get cut off six months out, I no longer had the neon colored "wristband" to get in on the goods. After a few futile attempts to re-establish my FSU account, and prove that in fact I did attend college AND graduated, facebook just kept slapping me in the face with a "HELL-TO-THE-NAW"!

So, I shot 'em the bird, told them to fuck off because I didn't want no part of they stankin' ass party no way....likka's prolly all watered down anyway, and y'all be doing the same tired dances, so I'm scraaaight. (Alright dammit I was really pissed off, sad like, 'Why y'all don't want me?', but hey what could I do?)

Run straight into the open arms of myspace, is what I did. They didn't judge me based on whether or not I'd attended college or any of that nonsense. They liked me for who I was, for what I brought to the table...they didn't just like my doggystyle! I had friends y'all...a top 12 (all the old heads remember that you couldn't get more than that)! I could customize my page and freely stalk...ummm....err....browse people's profiles. Myspace was growing, Tom was inching in on his first trillion friends, and frankly myspace was taking over...making people lose sleep, neglect their children, and lose their jobs! It was an amazing time...*sigh*...nostalgia...or as the Japanese say "natsukashi".

That is.....until those people over there at facebook (who are those 'people' anyway??...at least Tom's gotta face) realized that nobody cared about their bougie site, and started to relax their criteria for admission. Yeah, they came back to me, with their tails between their legs begging me to give them another chance. "Please come back," they said. "We're sorry. We've made a huge mistake. Boo-hoo-hoo!" So I had to tell them, though not quite as eloquently as Whitney, to kiss my ass!

And I stayed anti-facebook for a HAWT minute...until I came to Japan, and I found myself in a land with no friends. And the friends that I did try to acquire were on that other side of this political divide........*gasp*......they were facebookers! So I reluctantly crossed over into enemy territory to keep in touch with these people, who despite this affliction, I actually liked. And slowly, I started conforming to the ways of this new site...and I shudder at the thought....started liking facebook. Hey, it was a new affair, and I felt dirty for liking it...I was cheating on my husband with the hot guy from college that rejected me....initially it was wrong...but yet oh, so right....until....

...I finally woke up out of that stupor, and starting noticing all the little nagging things that I just couldn't get past. Like, why e'rrybody and they mama gotta know that I was talkikn' shit on s0-and-so's page, or posted some crazy comment on someone's pic....stay out my bidnaz mang!! Or why they gotta make it so hard to look at people's profiles? How do you expect me to make random friends?? Hell, I can't even search for old classmates (that I don't all too much care about) because I'm not in the damn FSU network because I STILL don't have an FSU account. Or, why when I wanna try out some new survey or application, I gotta add that shit to my page first?? I don't need a 1001 applications to my already boring ass page. AND THEN on top of that, why you tryna Jehovah Witness me into harassing my friends to add applications, just so I can access the one I just added?!? 'The fucks up with that?? AND, AND, AND why, oh why, must one need a regular wall and a 'Super Wall'....is one wall not enough?!?

All I know is I've had enough...facebook's too full of themselves. Just like a bunch of uppity Republicans, that think they're better than everybody because they're all "edu-macated" and stuff. And, Lawd knows I don't care for no republicans (save for my mama, and a few of the misguided Nicaraguans who still vote republican for some reason).

Sure, myspace is more "Democratic": accepting the less desirables like pedophiles, welfare mamas, 10-year old chicken heads, and my ex-boyfriend, but dammit, when you add up the sum of all it's parts, it's all about the people....and that's where I call home. Gimme my bulletins, gimme my layouts, gimme the browse button with customizing features, and most importantly (gimme $2) gimme comments that "Show Me Some Love".