In the 5th your ass goes down...

So goes my life in this moment.

I went from having "everything" to "nothing" (well, it's all relative, in more ways than one). My life in Japan, far different from my life now. If before, I said that I was entrenched in a quarterlife crises, then its current condition is critical and on life support.

And I need out.

I've always been self-reliant. Still am. But it seems that for me, life has to back me into a corner for me to move full steam forward. It's the procrastinator in me that requires that heart-pounding, bullet sweating, "oh-shit-am-I-gonna-fuck-up-or-pull-through" inertia. I thrive on it, usually, and I'm needing it now. I have these feeling of sinking, and though I need a floatie, I'd rather drown than become a charity case.

And even though Marcellus Wallace would tell me, "That's pride, fucking with ya. Fuck Pride! Pride only hurts, it never helps," in this case my pride is what'll pull me through.

It has to.