Temptation is a bitch...

...but success kicks her ass!!

So despite my horrible, horrible, horrible family (minus my bro-in-law the only cheering me on) tempting me with

carne asada


spagetti,


pork chops,



wing stop with french fries (!!!),


pico,
(sorry no picture, but true Nicaraguans know what the hell I'm talking about!)

chocolate pudding,


and much, much more....


....I managed to stay STRONG during my 10-day attempt at the Master Cleanse (a.k.a.: The Beyonce' Dreamgirls Diet).

This makes me hate her more...damn you Beyonce and your perfect body!!!!

So I got back from Japan, and slowly but surely I saw my waistline, coming right on back, (the coke-bottle figure was starting to look a little like the Kool-Aid Man) and since I didn't have the rodeo-pro to stave off the weight, I knew something drastic had to be done before I got back to being a size I was unhappy with.

Thus after much inner-wrangling, I decided to do the Master Cleanse for 10-days. I know you're not supposed to do it to lose weight and it's all about the inner cleansing, yadi-yada...but after I heard/read that Beyonce did it for like 15 days and lost 22 lbs, I was like: "I'm on it!"

So here's a brief run down on my trial run.

(SEE HERE for the recipe, and method behind the madness).

Starting weight: (not sure, because like an asshole, I forgot to weigh in....however, I had weighed myself a few weeks earlier and at that point I was, **breathe in-breathe out**) 173 lbs.

Day One:
Horrible beginning. I woke up drank down the salt water flush, but instead of drinking 1 quart of water with 2 teaspoons of salt, I mixed in THREE TABLESPOONS. (Please never make this mistake.) After gagging this nastiness down, I decided it was far too early to be up--as I'm sooo not a morning person--and went back to bed. So, I tried to sleep, but my belly kept doing flips since this thing is supposed to make ya, ummm...go. But I couldn't, and it felt more like it wanted to come back up the way it went down, which it did unpleasantly when I brushed my teeth. NOT FUN!

Anyhoo, after that I felt better, proceeded to make my "lemonade" (of freshly squeezed lemons, grade B organic maple syrup, cayenne pepper & water) and drank my breakfast. It was tasty and pleasant enough and I enjoyed it. However, what I began to notice was that, I never before noticed how much I think about food. I was like, "ooh lunch/dinner/snack" but then realized, "nope, just lemonade." Very much a psychological brain fuck. NOT FUN!

I made it well through the day, until my oh, so thoughtful mom put on the damn Food Network (good way to tease a starving person), until I couldn't take it any longer, and ended up going to bed early @ 9:00. Did I mention: NOT FUN!

Day 2:
Attempted the salt water flush again, made it down fine (now that I properly followed directions), but it was still unpleasant to drink. I never got "hungry" per se, but I realized I missed chewing, yes just CHEWING on something. The pulp in the lemonade kinda helped, but not enough. And then I noticed that the last bit of the lemonade was the worst, because all the cayenne pepper sunk to the bottom, and it made the drink spicy and kinda yuck!

Days 3-7:
I kept it up, drinking my drank tirelessly, and resisting all the temptations and stupid jokes to make me "feel better" about my diet. It didn't help matters when my nose became this supersonic smelling machine. I once opened the microwave to make my nightly tea, and the bread fell out, and I was like, "Mmmm, bread!!!"

By day 5, the salt water was easy to drink, but then the lemonade started getting REALLY MONOTONOUS!! (Think Ben Stein's voice droning on and on forever!) I dreamt of eating real food, (even though I wasn't at ALL hungry)...and like I said, my family was sooooo unkind in my plight. But by day 7 I saw my waistline come back, and I figured I'd thug it out for one more day before I gave up, officially (especially since I was running out of maple syrup, and I just didn't want to have to buy more).

Day 8:
I soooooo didn't want to even touch the damn lemonade. Mentally, I'd already given up since I just wanted to eat already, and since I figured I'd reached my goal anyway. I drank some of it for breakfast, and filled up on water for the rest of the day, until dinner, where I made a new batch without as much cayenne pepper and a smidge more maple syrup! That was tolerable, and I looked forward to today when I could gracefully tap out of the ring!

Today:
So I woke up and weighed myself.....dun-dun-DUN! I was elated to see that I got down to 158 lbs.!!! And that's by not even making it to day 10. So approximately 15 lbs. in 8 days! I'll take that!! So now I just can't eff it up by driving to my nearest Taco Bell, like I really want to do....damn it. =(

So maybe I can really, REALLY--like for REAL-REAL, not for play-play--get to working on that New Years resolution #4. I lost the poundage, now I just gotta keep it off.

But like I said, I kicked temptation's ASS....so I deserve a cookie!

Instead though, I'll sign off with the eloquent words of the cookie connoisseur, Mr. Cookie Monster: C is for cookie, and that's good enough for me.

...a few of my favorite things...

You know so, every time I logged on there was that 25 Random Things thing making the viral rounds on facebook. I avoided it at first and then I gave in because the narcissist, that I keep tucked deep deep deep down inside, was like let's talk about YOU! So I did. Sue me!



But after I made my list of 25, I realized that there's soooo much more to me that's even more weird and quirky and strange, that for some damn reason just makes me happy to be me! So instead of adding a few more to that list which called for only 25 things (not a list 30 or more, like some other fb friends of mine did who don't follow the rules) I fiugred, let's just take it to the blog; that way, I don't seem so SUPER-narcissistic and people who don't care to read won't have to (isn't that sweetly, considerate of me??). *wink*



So without further ado:



1. I HATE when people don't keep the caps on the toothpaste! Especially, when they leave it so that toothpaste crusts around the rim of the tube. That shit is gross, and I don't see how you think you can get your mouth clean, when all kinds of (doo-doo) particles have probably landed on the opening!!!





2. Speaking of toothpaste tubes....it makes me super happy when I'm able to go from the beginning of the last drop of toothpaste always squeezing from the bottom up like it says to do on the tube. And it pisses me off, when someone ruins it by squeezing in the middle. =(






3. Hot Sauce. Vinegary, hot sauce. I swear if I could eat it in cereal, on ice cream, cake, ANYTHING...and it tasted good, I would! (for now, I'll stick to chicken wings, any meat product, rice, french fries, or anything in the salty family of foods) That shit is just deeeeelishis! Whomever invented it should get like a 1000 gold stars, and automatic entrance into heaven!






4. I like when I have a palindromic number on my odometer. I have 75457 miles on my car? Oh YEAH!!! I even like when there are number pairings that I deem cool: (61111. Sweet! 112182. Wow that's my birthday! 888888. Crazy Eights amazing!!) I've even gone out of my way to make sure no one would drive my car when I knew a good number would come up; and hate myself if I forgot to look down at the odometer when I knew one was coming up (88890...Dammit!). You may think I'm strange, but my friends understand....and they even play along with me now! lol





5. Another road game that I have is spotting interesting license plates, and I have a "Rain Man-ian" like ability to remember the license plate numbers of my friends and family. Not just the custom kind like the bitch lady to totaled my baby Zeus a few years ago who's license plate read, "MEE OOW" (<----I KID YOU NOT!! Cat lover much?!?). But simple ones like, Jezebel's "P33 4CC" and Zeus's "T25 ZIP" two of my old car plates...why do I still remember them?? Because Jezebel had 4cc's of pee (gross, nmemonic device, I know) and Zeus was zippy like The 25 year-old (I dunno it worked for me). And the one below I could NEVER forget! =)



6. In case you didn't catch on above, I like naming my cars. Every car I have ever owned has had a name:
- Rusty: My first car (1985 Osmobile Cutlass Cierra) who was appropriately named for his baby blue and rust exterior.
- Zeus: My 2nd and favorite car (1995 Nissan 200sx) a stick shift that was cute, small, fast and sporty, like me (minus the who "sporty" aspect)...lol
- Jezebel: My 3rd car (2002 Hyundai Elantra), she was burgundy and very moody, stalling at the most inopportune times...*sigh*
- Rebel: The car I'm sportin' now (1994 Jeep Wrangler) is just red, but because it's a jeep, makes me feel like I should be riding fast over some bumpy-assed terrain.


7. I REALLY like doodling my signature over and over. Now I don't have grandiose delusions of becoming famous or none of that nonsense, but I just really like my signature. Even though many of my friends say it doesn't look like anything but a bunch of loops, between you and me, I think they're secretly jealous...lol.


8. I'm addicted to "lol". I use it frequently and liberally, even if I don't literally laugh-out-loud, I just think it helps things translate better in writing/emailing/chatting/blogging (as sometimes ppl can't tell when I'm being sarcastic)...lol!


9. Uncreased books and magazines. For some reason that just makes me feel peachy! I like when I am able to read a book several times and keep it in as pristine condition as I can. Thus I hate library/used books. People just don't know how to NOT dog ear the pages. >:-(




10. Guranora Frutsu (Granola Fruits) is the best FRICKIN' cereal on the planet!!! I can sustain myself on this for days; morning, noon, evening snack and dinner! I'm petitioning that Kellogg's import this stuff from Japan for American consumption! I miss this stuff!





There ya go...10 more interesting, random tidbits about me! Don't you feel like my kin/bff, now? *wink*



Welcome to my world!! (and I can say that officially....lol)

**UPDATE**

Bonus Favorite

11. The "divots"...these are what I call the male hip slashes...mmm....just damn sexy, and are my SECOND favorite male body part, next to their......brain =) *wink*

McFatness!

We all know that McDonald's is not the corner stone of healthy, nutritional meals, but I think that if the United States were to import some of the items off of the Japanese Mickey D's menu, the obesity epidemic would skyrocket!



So, how do they keep these goodies away from the artery-clogged Americans?? They stick bits of deliciousness in the land where the the people have to make deals with the devil, AND both tempt fate and their metabolisms just to put on 2 lbs. Now somehow, I managed not to get sucked into feeding my face everyday with "Makudonarudo" while I was there, but dammit, I can't promise the same if they came over here with it. So I got to reminiscing, and boy....let's just say I got out of Japan just in time!



Let's start with the most foolish:



BEHOLD the Mega Mac!


Though it's no Quadruple Bypass...it sure could give it a run for its money! And it was quite hilarious trying to watch big and small people alike trying to take a "normal" bite of this monstrosity.

But wait...that's not all!! They also had spin-offs, because what's a Mega Mac without either a heaping, hunk of tomato or eggs inside!?!? It's Dee-lishis...apparently.



However, no talk of Japanese McDonalds' can go any further without mentioning, MY FAVORITE thing on the menu....McFlurries...mmm! Sure McFlurries, here in the good ol' US, are quite tasty in their own right, but the Japanese just take it to another level, adding more flavors to tingle your taste buds...

My two favorite...Caramel-Oreo McFlurry (on the right) Strawberry-Oreo (on the left):


Milk tea flavor, which came out right before I left (quite scrumptious!):


and

Blueberry-Oreo (mm-mm-mmm):


This one that came out AFTER I left (daaaaayum!!!) Caramel Macchiato-Kit Kat:


and, my least favorite, but perennial Japanese favorite, Matcha (Green Tea)-Oreo:


The thing that's great is that they change it up...but the thing that sucks is that if you find one you really like they take it away, far too soon. =(

You know what....on second thought....Boy, do I miss Japan!